Ritual for Self-Acceptance: The Two Fish Bowls


  • 2 clear fish bowls or jars
  • paper, biodegradable
  • writing implement


Every time you despise or criticise yourself for something, write it down on the paper, tear or cut that written-upon piece out, and put it into the bowl. As you put it into the bowl, let go of it. Release the self-punishment.

Step back away from the bowl and ask yourself: “Can I do this better somehow?” If yes, then do that. Give yourself permission and grace to do it better. If no, ask “Is there a positive alternative?” Give yourself permission to take a positive alternate approach, and give yourself an encouraging little pep talk: “you can do this, you can at least try this, and your new step combined with a bit of miracle will take you in a better direction. Good things are coming of this.”

When good things happen, when you feel good about yourself, when you make progress in some way, write that down, tear off the piece of paper, and put it into the other bowl.

Take note of both bowls. Which has the most in it? What can you do to get more into the “Happy Bowl”?

At some point, do another ritual of release. Take the “Harsh Bowl”, or at least its contents, to a moving body of water like a river, stream, or ocean, and release all of those pieces of paper and the harshness that came out of you.

Alternatively, burn the papers safely.

As you’re releasing the papers and everything on them, let go of all the negativity and self-hurting. Release yourself from those patterns. Think of all the good things in the Happy Bowl. Congratulate yourself on your progress.

Bless yourself to continue growing, healing, and loving yourself.


Heather Cate
Spiritual Coach for the Creative Soul

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