Intimacy, integrity, honesty, trust, openness. All of these are required for a good marriage and intimate relationship. Guys, if you’re suffering from a lack of good sex life, try these top twelve sex tips to build intimacy:
- Build sexual intimacy slowly. Guys often try to rush sex, and there’s no bigger turn-off for a woman who’s hesitant to open her self to you.
- Go slow. Don’t lube up and jump in.
- Connect on all levels. Look your partner in the eyes and really see what’s there. Fear? Frustration? Exhaustion? Distrust? Anger? If so, back it down a notch or two. Literally, back up. If you’re in her face, back up a few inches, step back, reel your lust in. Hold her hands. Ask her about what you see. Maybe you’re wrong, but chances are she’ll really appreciate your asking, and she’ll let you know what’s going on.
- Start with a massage. A great massage is a starting point for releasing tension, tiredness, and toxins that get in the way of fabulous sex.
- Eliminate distractions. If you two have kids and your wife is their primary caretaker, wait until they are busy doing something else, or create something fun for them to do which does not require your wife’s attention for at least 10 minutes.
- Help with the housework. You will get major brownie points.
- Cook some brownies or your wife’s favorite treats.
- Do something nice for someone she really cares about. Her grandparents, her friends, her favorite charity.
- Learn reflexology pressure points that help with sexual function. And give her a foot massage!
- Enjoy a sexy meal together. Oysters, strawberries, chocolate, asparagus are all good aphrodisiacs. Feed each other these finger foods.
- Laugh together. It’s the best bonder and healer. See a funny movie (that she actually finds funny!!), go to a comedy club, play a fun, non-competitive game.
- Play an all-out sport, together. Get your juices going and work up the cardio and sweat. A precious few get off on competing against each other. Be careful with this one; if you’re wrong, it can seriously backfire. Safer to compete against others. Or, just do a gentle physical activity together, like swimming or walking.
Schedule a coaching session with Heather and improve your relationship!