Is your person toxic for you?
Check out this list and the tips for dealing with the horrible situations abusers cook up.
Yes, I said it. Abuse. Some people like to use the word “toxic”, but that downplays the situation, and I want you to be fully aware of the danger you may be in.
Here are some classic abuser moves:
- They mess up your birthday or special holiday.
- They ask you to do something against your moral code.
- You feel drained / uncomfortable / wary. You may come up with “reasons”, but pull back. Protect yourself. Say “No.” And hold the line. Keep a poker face, both outwardly and on the inside (your personal energy field). Turn up your spidey senses. Keep your eyes open. Be honest with yourself. Watch their reaction. It will tell you everything. Make no excuses for them.
- They ask you to pull away from friends, family, support systems. This is a classic abuser method to get you vulnerable and make you easier to prey upon.
- They try to get you into drugs, booze, or a lifestyle that un-centers you, puts you off-balance, and off your game.
Abusers are groomers.
They will first test you, then try to get you to compromise yourself within your own belief system, they will try to isolate you, and try to make you miserable.
They may be sophisticated or blunt about it.
Beware: it will get worse, because all a narcissist wants to do is eat your life force.
At first, they will seem to enjoy your beauty and love, but eventually they will do everything in their power to make you miserable, because that is the energy which tastes best to them and is most filling. They are very efficient, and are always grooming their next meals. Meaning they cheat on you. When you are used up or too dangerous for them, they will hurt you as badly as possible and leave you in the dust.
Your relationship isn’t becoming toxic, they were toxic before you met.
Don’t feel bad or guilty, and don’t take pity on them for any reason.
Get out now.
You are important and valuable. You’re here for a good purpose, and only you can do it. Don’t waste your love, energy, or time on someone who thrives on hurting you.
If you aren’t sure, if you think you’re imagining, misunderstanding, or mis-perceiving things, quietly look around at their other (and especially previous) relationships. You will find problems, and probably a pattern. They may even have told you about them and said their previous partners were “crazy.”
The pattern is the narcissist themself.
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